In a 9 hour politburo speech, Leonid Brezhnev announced a new 10 year tractor factory plan, and announced that the peoples’ democracy was secure, thanks to The Revolution. Singling out Perestroika supporter Davidoff Kameronski for special criticism, our leader stated that the Union was non-negotiable as a bulwark against Anglo Saxon economic hegemony.

The Russian model for dealing with The Ukraine is borrowed from the EU model for dealing with the UK: dismemberment, Balkanization, marginalization.

Maoist Barroso has no intention of letting an effete Etonian PR man off the hook. With Clegg, the BBC, Labour and the UK Civil Service on his side, who can blame him?