Anthropomorphic Global Sinkholing!
It is all down to footprints. Housing footprints, road footprints. England has been emulating Florida and developing sinkholes, no doubt following the extensive floods.
Al Gore must be on the phone to Mann, ordering up a new hockey stick. Prince Charles will be building a new village called Stiltbury, on stilts (gedditt??) to allow for the implosion of The Good Earth. Wait for Stiltbury Preserves (jams, not land preservation) and Stiltbury cheeses from The Dutchy of Cornwall.
It is all the fault of consumerism, so expect massive tax rises to compensate dictators of foreign countries for naughty Westerners living off the earth’s limited bounty.
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie will team up with Matt Damon and still-heterosexual George Clooney to make a film where the last bit of land on earth is, natch, Ethopia, where a wise headman has started to build an Ark on stilts.
At this rate, England will disappear before Scotland gets out of the UK. Ironic.